What is a validator? I have a friend who I would call a validator. When I am struggling he says hugs.

In other words, a validator is someone who knows how to walk with empathy. They are a person who validates what they are feeling. They may not understand your struggle but they don’t invalidate you or tear you down.

I knew someone who I went to school with many moons ago. I am not sure if she is holding something against me but she has invalidated me many times. Often saying things like

“Well if that is what you need to believe…”

It makes me feel like she doesn’t believe me and that she is calling me a liar. I feel invalidated. Yet when she struggles she wants empathy or validation. After the last interaction, I thought, I am done I am going back to the VALIDATOR.

I told my validator friend. He said.


He also said, “I am sorry that happened to you.”

I felt validated.