Many times there are struggles in families. Sometimes there are things that happen where you can’t get together because of the conflict in the family. Or it may not feel safe because behavior hasn’t changed and people will be mean.

No matter what a person’s Needs Language is, abuse is never ok and we ought to always have boundaries. Yet there can be pain because you can’t get together with your family during the holidays.

You may feel this sorrow in your heart, your gut, or other places in your body. The pain may be buried so deep that you can’t cry or you may end up crying for hours because of how bad it hurts.

Recently I got some very bad news from a family member I no longer talk to because his behavior I feel is unhealthy and I won’t expose myself to it. I was shocked and appalled at the same time, as were other family members and those I shared the news with.

I did not confront him, instead, I went inside and dealt with my thoughts and feelings around it. I couldn’t change the person or what they had done. Yet I could forgive them and hold to staying true to what I believed and protecting myself.

As I think about it, it still doesn’t feel good, however, I can come to an acceptance of what this person has done and release them to their choices no matter how painful it is.