Last blog we started to talk about the patterns that get us into the victim-rescuer-predator triangle, like repeating patterns of debt after the holidays.
I remember talking to someone who was so proud of themselves that they had worked so hard to get themselves out of debt. But that proud feeling led them to a hard-earned vacation that put them in so much debt that it was affecting their relationship and their trinkets from their trip were not going to pay the rent or put food on the table. You can’t eat a stuffy, at least it doesn’t taste good and it isn’t very nutritious.
They repeated this pattern often. But instead of being aware they blamed the situations around them for the debt, they could not pay. The job wasn’t paying enough, the unemployment didn’t kick in, the partner was nagging, they were sick again, ect… This led them to be the victim of the pattern, the victim of the situation, and everyone else needed to rescue them or was the bad guy, hence the predator. This kept them shackled to repeating this pattern and staying stuck to the wall of always finding a way to create debt for themselves and new ways of being a victim.
This is the first key to understanding the triangle. If you do not become aware or refuse to become aware of your pattern, you are going to stay stuck, shackled to the situation. You will be a slave to your victim game.
Now I am not saying that people have not been victimized, there are times when there are true victims out there, but when we stay in this mindset instead of healing, it can cause damage to us and to others.
I want to explore this more in next week’s blog.