Last week we talked about communication and why sometimes it doesn’t always work, that it isn’t always because the person isn’t listening. I want to talk about another reason why communication could not be working and that could be that a person isn’t processing what you are saying. 

Last week we used the example of vehicles. Let’s continue using vehicles as examples. Let’s say in this example someone has a Honda Civic and another person has a Ford Bronco. Do you think that your Civic key will work for your Bronco vehicle and vice versa? Or what about parts or even mechanics? If mechanics do, let’s look at the year of the car. 

Processing can be similar. In conversations we can’t always process what people say. There are many factors that play into understanding what a person says. Your intention could be to listen to the person but because of these factors you may not be able to process the information. 

In the Needs or Needs Languages part we call this having the opposite Needs. 

It gets very frustrating when we expect people to be like us and they aren’t.  Recently I saw a post where  a person was upset with a hotel not having bright enough lights for shaving. He made a post about it. I made a comment, that I don’t like bright lights cause of migraines. He said I was more rare. Whether rare or not that invalidates, it is like saying Honda Civic’s are rare and ought to not have as many keys made. That his situation is more common. I wanted to reply yes, older people need brighter lights. I can’t help that I am young and vibrant and you are a prune.  That is a joke. 

When we say one person’s way of processing is more normal or imply it is, we invalidate or lose sight of a new possibility of seeing something that can be innovative. 

So the next time in conversation this happens take a second look at what the person came up with off of what you said, it might be something you never thought of. 

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Until next time